My therapist told me I had to start blogging again.
Once again, I told her I had nothing to blog about and that I could only write when I was depressed. It seemed to be the only time I had something within me to share with others.
Someone else told me, my blog seemed sad.
So this is what I have to share today:
Somehow a friend and I got on the discussion of depression as an illness.
I said what I had to say ( I don’t remember what it was, it’s not important) their answer is the key.
They said, I know what you mean. I get depressed and then I start to encourage myself. I look
at all that I have and what others do not have and I begin to feel better and I am not depressed anymore.
Despite the fact I told them the symptoms of depression when diagnosed as a mental illness they still did
not see the difference. They could not understand that when you are mentally ill and depressed
you cannot just encourage yourself out of depression or just look at what others do not have and what
you do and feel better. It does not work that way.
Another time, I was beginning to feel depressed. My stomach had that agonizing pain, I was crying and
starting to sink into despair. I called my safe person to come and pick me up. They said they would but that
I had to keep it together.
Keep it together. I thought. If I could keep it together I would not have made the call.
People say things like this because they truly don’t understand or they don’t take the time to think.
I felt that statement was hurtful because this was my safe go to person that I could go to instead of
the hospital. Now I had no one.
I did not want to go to their place. I felt it was no longer a warm safe haven where I wanted to be.
I scrolled down my contact list to find anyone I could say was coming over to keep me safe by spending
the day with me. The first name was that of a friend I had not in touch with for months. Would they come?
I called them and they came in the middle of their work day to check on me. They have been a safe go to
person for me ever since and a tremendous blessing. This is when I was at a point of giving up. Hope was already
gone and the Why bother question was creeping in.
She helped me get back on my feet and get things turned around, now I am back to even keel and it feels good.
It is great to have someone who really understands what it is all about and knows just what to say. Having
someone to help you pull your mind together and then your physical together is a great thing. They are my new safe go to
Life changes and so do people in our support system for reasons we do not always know. Sometimes they change
at the most inopportune time, Now, I realize I should have had more than one go to safe person.
Don’t make the same mistake I did. You want to get back to even keel as soon as possible. Sometimes
having that go to safe person is the only way to get back there.
love to all,
pb aka peanut butter
persistently pursuing a way to encourage others and to let them know they are not alone in this battle of
living to be mentally healthy