Today was a very upside down day. I was literally moving around all day since getting up at about 6 am. I was not ready to stay seated for more than 5 minutes until about 8:40 pm. I thought I was exhausted enough to just fall out on the bed around 6:30pm, but after eating food with protein, I caught a second wind and felt calmer. More like being back in mainstream. I went out and got some fresh air. Just went to pick up meds, but got out of the house.
I was manic and anxious all day. Could not stop moving. So of course something in every room was changed around within the room or into another room.
My mind would not stop racing with new and fresh ideas for Mental Health Advocacy and getting the message of the word of God out. There are also plans for a book about bipolar life and true decorating on a budget. (Be on the lookout, we are more than bipolar. Sorry, we are not bipolar, we have been diagnosed with bipolar. It is what we have, not who we are.)
I know there are already books people with bipolar have written but listening to the news there does not seem to be enough voices that have yet been heard. There are signals to a troubled person but people don’t know the person needs help because they don’t know the signs, the symptoms, the red flags. Sometimes even our family members may not know until something tragic happens. We need to educate people.
Along with bipolar, we can experience PTSD- post traumatic stress disorder, panic and anxiety disorder, clinical depression and other disorders. People, the population, everyone, needs to be made more aware of what the signs are so more people can get help, support, treatment and finally find peace to reach out for help when they know they are in crisis mode or before they get that far.
We have to deal with one disorder at a time. We have to be our own advocate for mental and physical health care, especially when they overlap. We must make the Drs. listen to what we have to say. We know our body, what goes on in our mind, better than they do. We know how the medication makes us feel. If we can function better or worse without it. Having a mental illness does not mean we do not have the right to have a life of quality but we have to fight for it by letting them know how the medication makes us feel and if it prohibits us from living and not just existing.
I am a two time cancer survivor as well as manic-depressive or bipolar as some would say. I have one kidney the size of a pea. So small it can hardly be seen on an ultrasound. The other is full size and operates at 52%. There are other medical and mental conditions.
I have bipolar 1 with psychosis and still to me, Life is Great. I don’t struggle with any of these illness, yes, they exist in my body, but they struggle with me because I do not give in to them. I do not sit still and let these illnesses dictate what and how I live my life. Just because I don’t feel capable or up to doing something at that very moment does not mean it will not get done. If I can’t do one thing, I find something else I can do and excel at it.
That is how I deal with multiple disorders. Anxiety and panic attacks. I grab my keys no matter how bummy I look at get out of the house. Walk, sit on the patio, go for a very short drive if not manic. If manic, my #1 rule is not to drive. Breathe, use my toolkit, do yoga, focus on something calming.
Depression and mania- use toolkit, support system, family, doctor, therapist, psychiatrist, sometimes even a stranger just walks up to me and says something encouraging without even knowing me. Make sure you know and have on speed dial, the crisis hotline number for your area as well as your most supportive support person and mental health team members.
Life is good and gets better with each storm I come through. The storms are horrible, I lie not. I hate the storms, but when I come through, I am stronger. A survivor and at peace.
Love to all and good night. Remember, along with bipolar you may or may not have other mental disorders or physical ailments, but you are still here and reading this or walking or talking with someone, you got out of bed and someone loves you so life is good. Handle one disorder at a time and it will get you to be able to handle the next.