The last few days have been great. It seems as though I am getting better and better each day.
Had a rough night. Every time I went to sleep, I woke up from a disturbing dream. Finally around 5 am I could not take it anymore so I got up. It actually may have been even earlier.
Now that I have been up for a while, I feel really good and it already feels like an awesome day.
I have joy inside and peace as well. It seems as though mental health awareness has returned.
I am not manic or depressed. I am even keel.
My psychiatrist has weened me off of anit-depressants to put me on a patch for depression. He is going this route with the depression medication because nothing seems to work for a long period of time. I have tried almost every depression medication and it all works for a few months then I am back at the mercy of depression.
The thing is that I have to be off of anti-depressants for 14 days before starting the patch and right now I feel pretty good without it. I only took the last dosage on Sunday.
Right now I am in the Red Zone which means I have to watch my thinking about medication. I told some people that I have been feeling better and that I don’t think I need anti-depressants anymore. I was reminded that the feeling could turn at any time and the depression could get really bad. Just because I feel good now doesn’t mean I will always feel this way without the meds. So, I need to start the patch when the Dr. tells me to.
Red Zone because my thought was: I feel good, don’t need the meds. How many times have I thought this and wanted to go off meds. Just last year, I had this thought and stopped taking the medications for a couple of dosages and boy did I feel and see the difference. So by now I know, that a feel good feeling doesn’t mean no more depression permanently.
I say to myself, “you have been here before. don’t do it. don’t stop taking your medications”, and I listen and comply. That is part of being mentally healthy, medication compliance.
So, not only do I purpose to have an awesome and mentally healthy day, but it is already an awesome day.
How are you feeling today? Will you purpose to have an awesome day? Will you stay on your medication despite how good you are feeling?
Remember, bipolar episodes cannot be avoided. There will be mania and there will be depression. Medication does not stop either one from happening but it does control how often and how intense.
love to all
be good to you
purpose to have an awesome day
pb aka peanut butter