Is it really bipolar? I’m confused.

I seem to function very early in the a.m.  Starting between 4 and 4:40 am.  Sometimes around 2-2:30 am.

When I get up at these times, I am refreshed and ready for a new day.  Especially after a hot cup of coffee.

Is this manic?  I don’t  know.

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I do the same when feeling depressed.  I am not much for sleeping in.

Although, sometimes when I think I am just bored, I go to sleep for hours.  Wake up and take my night medication and go back to sleep for 6-8 hours more.  I do tend to lose interest in things at this time and do not want to be alone with my thoughts.

I don’t think early rising and inability to sleep late, is listed as one of the symptoms of bipolar (manic-depression), but I do know it is one of my traits.

Looking back over time, I see that I have always been an early riser.  Even when I was not working.  And when I was working, I never had to hit the snooze button.  I woke up and was ready to get up and get going, no matter what the clock said.

I recently had a conversation that left  me wondering if I am bipolar.

I question my diagnosis from time to time?

Does anyone else ever question whether or not they are manic-depressive?

I know I go through depression: sometimes worse than others.  Sometimes it gets scary how low I feel and the thoughts I have.

I know there are times I am filled with rage.  Out of left corner it hits me, even when I seem to have been feeling fine.

Is there something else that is not right in my brain that is causing a trigger for me to feel rage and I don’t know it.

Even though I keep getting the same diagnosis, the medicine only seems to keep me even keel for a while.  Maybe I don’t have bipolar.  Maybe that is why the medicine does not work for long.

Sometimes I can function off 3 hours of sleep a night.  Is that normal?

Sometimes my head is filled with projects and ideas are too numerous to write in one sitting.

I can plan a project from beginning to end on paper and then start another one.  Sometimes, I have to admit, I don’t finish planning one project before starting another one.  That is why I have a project board.

Does anyone ever doubt their diagnosis of many strangers, when one person you know personally tells you otherwise?

Do you think everyone with a mental illness, questions their diagnosis at some point?

Maybe I did not hear correctly.  Maybe I heard correctly but misunderstood.

Anyone?

love to all,

pb aka peanut butter

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Author: Fighter

I finally accepted what people have been telling me. I am full of knowledge and wisdom and I am unforgettable. My word of encouragement since 2015 has been to let others know, despite the waves and ripples in our lives, Life is totally awesome, even with a mental illness. I believe my purpose is to encourage others, advocate for those around me who have not yet found their voice to advocate for themselves and educate those without a mental illness. If for one for minute someone laughs or smiles because of something I said, that is one moment they did not think about mental illness.

2 thoughts on “Is it really bipolar? I’m confused.”

  1. Other than a diagnosis of General Anxiety Disorder – which was very apparent to me, yes—I question every diagnosis. I’m waiting for the correct one, one that makes sense.

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