How did I get here?

One of my dear friends have decided to cut me out of her life.

Another one has made it more than clear, does not want to talk to me, although I now realize for both of them it has been coming for months.

For one I did not want to beleive the hints I was getting, like them not returning my calls for weeks.

The other.  I tried to explain somethings and they decided they needed to set boundaries and cut me out of their life to protect themself from me.

I act out self destructive behavior  for reasons I have yet to realize.

My actions push people I love away.  I understand, they have to protect themselves.

I used to think I was a nice person.  Now even I want to escape from me, but that is not possible.  I am the one person I cannot get away from and I don’t know what to do.

How did I get to this point?

There is so much hurt and pain inside of me that I cannot escape.  I don’t have a game plan.  I don’t want to lose anymore people.

peanut butter

 

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Author: Fighter

I finally accepted what people have been telling me. I am full of knowledge and wisdom and I am unforgettable. My word of encouragement since 2015 has been to let others know, despite the waves and ripples in our lives, Life is totally awesome, even with a mental illness. I believe my purpose is to encourage others, advocate for those around me who have not yet found their voice to advocate for themselves and educate those without a mental illness. If for one for minute someone laughs or smiles because of something I said, that is one moment they did not think about mental illness.

2 thoughts on “How did I get here?”

  1. I so know where you are coming from. I know that blogging has helped me see things that I wasn’t recognizing. However, I also had to seek help from professionals. Without them, I don’t think I would have been able to hang on.

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