New dose of anti-depressant

I am now on day 3 of the higher dose of the anti-depressant patch.  Is it too soon to kown if it is working?

Nothing has changed yet so maybe it is too soon to tell.

Depression Cycle
Depression Cycle (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Still sleeping at odd hours and getting up between 12 and 1:30 am.  Try as I might, cannot go back to sleep.  But I must also say that sometimes I do go to sleep around 4 or 5 in the afternoon and sleep for hours.  Then I get ready for bed and may or may not take my night meds and go back to sleep.  All in total, I get between 5 and 7 hours off and on.  I guess I am doing good.

I wish I could stay sleep longer because soon after I am up, I want to cry.  I can’t seem to stay even keeled right now and have not been able to do so for a while.

The last time I remember being on good mental health ground was in April of this year and even then I was manic most of the time.  Once the mania left I started going downhill.  This way and that.  Up and down.  Manic and depressed and then the mania stopped.  Just depressed.

Moments of laughter, but nothing stayed.  The depression is always lurking, sucking the ilfe right out of me.

I have an appointment with the therapist today and I don’t know if I am going to keep it.

Even though I have been up for a while and it is still not daylight yet, I have no desire to get dressed or leave the house.  Hopefully, that will change once daylight hits.  I am usually able to force myself out of the house but this morning feels very different.

I have already been in and out of being on the verge of crying and am still trying to keep it together.  I do not want the floodgates of sobbing to start.

I purpose to try to have a eureka day, but it doesn’t feel like it.  It feels like I’m in a battle that isn’t going very well.  Where is the sunshine in my heart, in me?

peanut butter aka pb


Author: Fighter

I finally accepted what people have been telling me. I am full of knowledge and wisdom and I am unforgettable. My word of encouragement since 2015 has been to let others know, despite the waves and ripples in our lives, Life is totally awesome, even with a mental illness. I believe my purpose is to encourage others, advocate for those around me who have not yet found their voice to advocate for themselves and educate those without a mental illness. If for one for minute someone laughs or smiles because of something I said, that is one moment they did not think about mental illness.

2 thoughts on “New dose of anti-depressant”

  1. My doctors have never mentioned a patch. Is it an SSRI? What type of medication is it? After my psych suspected that I have Bipolar II, he put me on a mood stabilizer. I feel almost pretty good. However, if this takes my happy, productive times away, I won’t be happy. I am able to focus, and even though I’m a huge procrastinator as well, I’m getting little things done.

    Keep looking for the answers. That’s all we can do.

    Oh, I can also empathize with your sleep issues. I have been a sufferer for about 8 years now. I finally gave up. The more I stressed about sleep, the bigger issue it became. Now I just figure my body will rest as much as it needs. Does it help? No, because it affects my mood. What a stinkin’ cycle.

    1. I don”t have all the info with me right now, but it is a patch used to treat depression. The name of it is Ensam and has different dosages. I have been on many pills for depression but they only work for a few months. This last bout of depression has lasted for some time so the Dr. Put me on this medicine patch. He just increases the dosage

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s