Fighting

Sadness is trying to set in.

For some reason my sleep did not last as long as I thought it should have.  I don’t know why I was up a little past 3 am. but I was productive.  Got some things accomplished and was even able to concentrate and read a book.

I was excited about being able to do that.  It is not something I can do when depressed or manic.  It was a good sign.

I was even able to do yoga this morning, but that led me to thinking about my estranged daughter.  Estranged through her choice, not mine, although I am the culprit.  It was some things that I said when I was not feeling well.

It was when I was depressed and in a destructive mood that I lashed out at her and others.  Others have stayed because they realized it was part of my mental illness.  She has to protect herself from me and I understand that, but it does not stop me from missing her.  The yoga reminds me of her because she introduced me to it.

How do I clean up this mess and get her back?

One thing for sure, I cannot let the sadness rule because it turns to depression for me when it lasts to long.

I have fought long and hard to get to this point of being okay again.  I will get past this.

pb aka peanut butter

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Author: Fighter

I finally accepted what people have been telling me. I am full of knowledge and wisdom and I am unforgettable. My word of encouragement since 2015 has been to let others know, despite the waves and ripples in our lives, Life is totally awesome, even with a mental illness. I believe my purpose is to encourage others, advocate for those around me who have not yet found their voice to advocate for themselves and educate those without a mental illness. If for one for minute someone laughs or smiles because of something I said, that is one moment they did not think about mental illness.

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