I have slept past 4 am for the past 3 nights. Yay
I am very happy about that.
Even though I am not getting up before 4:30 am, I am still struggling with anxiety. It is frustrating because it now delays the
things I want to do. I walk and I pace for a while until I can finally sit down. It may take a couple of hours before I am able to sit or do something else but pace. It also takes 2 instead of the 1 ativan to work. I thought the anxiety would leave with the depression. At first, it was still there but there were days I would not have to take a pill or just take one. Today I had to take 2 and still I walked and paced for hours. I don’t know what to do.
I constantly tell myself, I am not depressed and I proceed to use the anti-depression tools. I dress the opposite of how I feel and I leave the house. I try to get out and sometimes stay out for a couple of days so as not to be alone. I don’t want to be alone with my thoughts right now.
Is there anyone else who has a problem with anxiety? Do you walk and pace to try to calm down? Does it take a while for you to calm down?
Let me know how you handle the anxiety and the restlessness.
I have also been told that I am flat. I don’t seem to laugh or show much joy even though I am not depressed. The jovialness that goes with my mania is not present. I feel that something is missing. Still, I am happy not to be depressed.
pb aka peanut butter