Mainstream is boring

I am truly thankful that I have not been depressed but it seems as thought I have not been completely myself either.

Anxiety still gives me problems in the morning and that I can do without.

I remember when things seemed to make me laugh so easily, now it takes effort to laugh.  Sure, I laugh sometimes but not nearly as much as before.

That laughter was energy and now even though I have the energy to function and do the things I need to do, I don’t experience the high energy of fun.  I don’t seem to make people laugh anymore and that is the part of me I miss and so do my friends.

I wonder if this is the mainstream just above depression and maybe the medication needs to be increased.

I miss the silly, high energy me, filled with new projects.  I haven’t thought of any new ones in a long time.  Even my home office doesn’t motivate me right now.

I wonder if it is bipolar or just the weather but I miss all of me being present everyday at 100 percent plus some.

Love to all

pb aka peanut butter

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Author: Fighter

I finally accepted what people have been telling me. I am full of knowledge and wisdom and I am unforgettable. My word of encouragement since 2015 has been to let others know, despite the waves and ripples in our lives, Life is totally awesome, even with a mental illness. I believe my purpose is to encourage others, advocate for those around me who have not yet found their voice to advocate for themselves and educate those without a mental illness. If for one for minute someone laughs or smiles because of something I said, that is one moment they did not think about mental illness.

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