I went to intake today at OOD. It is an organization that help people with physical and mental disabilities get and keep a job. At the intake session they ask all about your work experience, education and disabilities and if you had any problems with substance abuse. The logic is that the more they know about you, the more they will be able to provide services that meet your needs and help you transition into employment that you will like.
I realized that although I have started college many times over in my adult life and have had several jobs in different fields as well, I actually felt proud of myself. You may ask why would I be proud of my self with so many attempts at completing a college degree and so many different jobs. Most people attend one or to colleges and have 2-3 jobs or career changes in their adult life. Not me.
This definitely goes to one of the things that make me unique. I realized that in spite of setbacks and an illness that was there despite my lack of knowledge of having it, I still kept it moving. I kept trying to earn a college degree. I had to stop and start jobs, but I kept trying to work. I never gave up.
Sometimes not knowing what is wrong or what makes you do what you do, can be frustrating. Not me. I never knew why I was not stable enough to complete college or stay with the same job for longer than 18 months before walking away from it. Even without knowing, bipolar was the culprit, I kept life moving. I kept trying and that made me proud. It is always easier to give up when you cannot accomplish what you want in the time frame you give yourself, but I kept trying. Years would go by, I would get better and try again.
Now that I know it is mental illness that kept me in that cycle, I can fight it. I can stay in treatment, keep taking my medications and keep it moving. There will be setbacks, I am certain of this. The difference is that now I know what is going on with me, why I do what I do and I have people (my support team) to help me when I get into trouble.
There were patterns in my life before quitting college, before quitting a job. I just did not know the pattern. Now I know the pattern is what started as triggers for a manic or depressed episode. By knowing my triggers, I can get help. Getting help, will help me keep my job.
Keeping my job is another way to keep it moving. To keep life moving, to keep working toward living my dreams and living my life to what is the fullest to me.
love to all
pb aka peanut butter
Remember, in spite of setbacks, keep it moving.