Just when I thought I had it all together. No signs of depression, no signs of mania. Living in the sun even on cloudy days was becoming more and more the norm.
Now, the cycle continues. Lately, I have been emotionally up and down and feeling like crying various times throughout the day. I have increased the number of times I see my therapist on a weekly basis. Sometimes I intentionally shut the lights and the television off and sit quietly in the dark. It calms my mind and stills me. When I feel emotionally overwhelmed and the tears get to my throat I get a pad, any pad and journal.
I have learned more about myself and my emotions as well as fears that have kept me stuck from moving forward in some areas through free flow journaling. It is difficult but amazing. I share these insights with my therapist and it helps me move forward.
The cycle of up and down continues but I don’t stay in the down as long as I used to. I shut everything down, deal with the issue and keep it moving. Even if I feel like crying when I am out, I might have yo sit in my car, take an anxiety pill, and breathe slowly. I get out of my car and keep it moving to where I was on my way to despite the emotional knot in my stomach.
I say, it is what it is and keep it moving. I talk to people and try to encourage them or make them laugh or smile and that changes things for me.
The cycle of up and down, happy and sad continues but does not last for long.
Push through and keep it moving. You will see a difference.
Love to all
On aka peanut butter
