Yesterday was a trying day.
I stayed in bed much longer than normal. I really did not want to get out. I stayed about 3 hours longer than normal and I was not tired or sleepy, just had no desire to get up.
When I finally got up, I pushed myself out of the house although I wanted no part of the outside world. I knew that I had to go out despite how I was feeling even though I did not quite know at the time what I was feeling and why.
It was not until I called someone and realized how angry I was at the world and how bitter I sounded that I finally had to admit that I was depressed. I have been trying so hard to stay as busy as possible for fear of getting depressed like I was this time last year.
I went to the library to listen to music to get into a different mood.
Later that day, I made plans to get together with someone and go to a movie. I was a little hesitant because I was afraid my mood would show through and ruin the day for them. I knew I had to do something fun because it is one of my tools for depression so I don’t give in to it.
It turned out to be a great time, although I overloaded on sweets, but I did not care.
I pushed past the symptoms: anger, irritability, lack of desire to get out of bed, leave the house and the need for isolation, and did not let the black hole of depression suck me in.
love to all,
pb aka peanut butter