This time last year I was suffering with major depression. It had been going on for a few months to the point I had to be hospitalized for a week followed up by intensive outpatient therapy for a month and a half. At the time I was discharged from the program, I had just been put on the anti-depressant EMSAM patch for major depression.
I started wearing the patch in early November and did not start to feel like my old self until late December. The only problem was that I could feel nothing. I had no depression but I also had no joy. My emotions were flat. This was better than being depressed but was not the fun me that I knew. I was not completely out of the woods by my standards and would not be until I was laughing again.
The dosage was adjusted again and finally the real me emerged. No mania, no depression, just me. I was happy again.
As the spring passed and summer came, I was still feeling good. I had one major episode of mania that was completely different than anything I had experienced before. It was scary. I was not me at all. I was living as though I was two different people and I was extremely glad when it finally passed. My doctor had to put me on additional medication for a while but it worked. The side effects were too great and now that I am stable again, I do not need to continue taking it. Another victory: the added medication was short term. A victory because less medication is better if not needed.
Once the summer began to come to an end, I became fearful that the depression would return and made a plan to try to escape it. I use the maintenance part of my toolkit to maintain a mentally healthy way of living for me. It works.
It has been a year since I have been on the patch and I did not have to have any medication adjustments for depression since I was diagnosed in 2007. I feel mentally healthier than I have in decades.
This was a different kind of bipolar roller coaster ride, not one I would want to repeat, nevertheless, not as bad as the other roller coaster of mania and depression several times a year.
love to all
pb: Persistently and Passionately seeking to be a Peer Support to all who want a hand up and someone there who cares and understands.