Yesterday and today were rough mornings.
I felt as though I lost my purpose for wanting to live, for wanting to leave the house, for wanting anything but to sleep until the feeling was gone.
I remembered my wellness toolkit, the maintenance which says to get out of the house everyday. They were my tools and I could choose not to use them.
The sad feeling led to me starting to cry and to doubt that I have accomplished anything lately. The feeling was becoming intense.
Finally, I listened to the maintenance voice and got dress in a hurry, grabbed my medicine in case I just kept driving and stayed over some place.
As I ran errands yesterday the feeling went away, only for me to rise this morning with the same feeling.
I am in a fight or flight mode. I want to run, to leave Ohio and start over some place else, but I must fight the urge to pick up and leave.
Today, I had to fight my emotions and get out of the house. I had intended to go one direction but was led to go another way.
I felt this morning as if I were living in last year’s depression and in tomorrow’s victory for escaping depression.
Living in the memory of yesterday and in the expectation of a better tomorrow. Living in the middle, today.
Has anyone ever felt trapped between your yesterday and your tomorrow?
love to all
pb: Persistently and Passionately Pursuing to be a Peer Support Person
Everyone, even me, needs a hand up and an ear to listen