I can make it on my own….

One of my favorite songs is by Patti La belle: It’s a new day”

I am going to print the lyrics and put them in my car and on my mirror and yes, even the door to the garage.

Everyday is a new day even though the bipolar is there and I don’t know how I will be that day.  Will I function well, be manic, depressed, have mixed episodes.  I don’t know and I am not silly enough to even try to think ahead and figure it out.  I just know that it is a new day and anything and everything good, bad and not so good can happen, but life is never boring.

One line of the song says,” I decided long ago, I can make it on my own.  Gonna be alright, gonna be alright, yeah”.

Today I realized how true that is.  I remembered that 10 years ago before I moved out of our marital home, I said to myself, I am going to be alright.  I can make it on my own.

Mary J Blige,” I can do bad all by myself”.  So, if I can do bad by myself, I damn sure can do good all by myself.

I have to be able to be alright and do good by myself before someone comes along.  He needs to see, damn she has what??? and has it together.  She is a fighter every day to live on her own terms despite the terms the bipolar sets for her.  I admire her spirit and tenacity and how she advocates for herself and others.  What an amazing woman.  I can love her through the ups and downs.  I may not know what to say at times, but I believe just being there for her without judgement, knowing it is her illness, will greatly help keep us together.

If no one comes along for a loving relationship, I am still gonna be alright.  Life is good whatever state of mind I am in because I was depressed, manic, suicidal,  had mixed episodes and rage.  I lost some relationships along the way, that will never be repaired.  I have had to accept that some people in my family do not understand, but it is what it is.  It is a sick part of my brain.  I am happy to know that it does not last forever.

I am reminded of a scripture in the bible says, God will put no more on us than we can bare.  Well, that has been true in the past and I have to keep holding on to that when I wonder how will I get through this because I am not only gonna be alright, even in the midst of chaos, I am alright because even though it does not feel like it at the moment, this depression or mania will pass.

 

 

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Author: Fighter

I finally accepted what people have been telling me. I am full of knowledge and wisdom and I am unforgettable. My word of encouragement since 2015 has been to let others know, despite the waves and ripples in our lives, Life is totally awesome, even with a mental illness. I believe my purpose is to encourage others, advocate for those around me who have not yet found their voice to advocate for themselves and educate those without a mental illness. If for one for minute someone laughs or smiles because of something I said, that is one moment they did not think about mental illness.

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