Women you are more than welcome to comment. I would love to hear your answers if you have had a similar experience.
I was hyper-sexual during my manic episode (what else is new). This time I fixated on the maintenance guy.
His kind spirit, raspy voice and goatee, made him very handsome and irresistible. I wanted him to notice me as more than a tenant. I know he could not because of his job.
Still, I wanted to share myself and he share himself. (I think you know what I mean)
With all the flirting back and forth, it was only a matter of time before something climatic would happen and when it did, I was the leader and he was the prisoner. I could do whatever I wanted and I did.
Months later I realized I was manic when all this was going on. I would send him insane text messages letting him know I wanted him. (how sad that I did this) The thing about sending scheduled text messages is that you never know when you said too much. Oh boy.
I definitely said too much. Poured out my heart. Damn it. It was unnecessary and embarrassing when I crashed from mania and realized I must have seemed very immature or just a horny tenant.
It left me feeling great and annoyed with myself at the same time.
The sadness and annoyance I feel is that I was upset because I believe men do not think about sexual climaxes after much flirting. They enjoy the chase and the capture and when all is done, that’s it. It is only a brief memory, never to enter their thoughts again.
“Is that really how it is. You flirt with her and things build and build until there has to be a climatic ending?”.
“Do you put your clothes on and say thank you and leave? Is this a hit it and quit it?
How long will you remember that one and only sexual encounter?
Does it last beyond the minute it takes you to get out the door and poof, you forget about it.