Why did you leave me not once but twice?
Did you think I could handle it better as an adult?
Guess what mom?
There is no difference in the pain.
Reluctantly, you told me you would be leaving town for a few days
and would let me know when.
You did leave, but you did not tell me
Sneaking out of town to be with the child to whom
I do not exist
There was a family gathering while you were there
Everyone was there except one
I was the uninvited guest that no one missed
I know you love all others but what don’t you love me.
Am I so unworthy that you would just leave me here alone.
Please pray God take this pain and anger away
We will never have the same relationship that was already frail
But this goes beyond, accepting an apology I will never get
It destroys what little trust I had left.
I need to let you know I have never known in this life what
being loved feels like from a family of a parent and sibling.
I was told I was part of that family
When will it be done
When will I be another one of your children that you see doing no wrong
After all is said and done, maybe I do not know how to receive love.
Do you think that is it?