I need love to mom

silhouette of mother kissing her daughter


Why did you leave me not once but twice?

Did you think I could handle it better as an adult?

Guess what mom?

There is no difference in the pain.

Reluctantly, you told me you would be leaving town for a few days

and would let me know when.

You did leave, but you did not tell me

Sneaking  out of town to be with the child to whom

I  do not exist

There was a family gathering while you were there

Everyone was there except one


I was the uninvited guest that no one missed

I know you love all others but what don’t you love me.

Am I so unworthy that you would just leave me here alone.


Please pray God take this pain and anger away

We will never have the same relationship that was already frail

But this goes beyond, accepting an apology I will never get

It destroys what little trust I had left.

I need to let you know I have never known in this life what

being loved feels like from a family of a parent and sibling.

I was told I was part of that family

When will it be done

When will I be another one of your children that you see doing no wrong

After all is said and done, maybe I do not know how to receive love.

Do you think that is it?



It’s just that important. Suicide continued

Are women or men at higher risk?

  • Suicide was the seventh leading cause of death for males and the fifteenth leading cause of death for females in 2007.1
  • Almost four times as many males as females die by suicide.1
  • Firearms, suffocation, and poison are by far the most common methods of suicide, overall. However, men and women differ in the method used, as shown below.1
Suicide by: Males (%) Females (%)
Firearms 56 30
Suffocation 24 21
Poisoning 13 40

Is suicide common among children and young people?

In 2007, suicide was the third leading cause of death for young people ages 15 to 24.1 Of every 100,000 young people in each age group, the following number died by suicide:1

  • Children ages 10 to 14 — 0.9 per 100,000
  • Adolescents ages 15 to 19 — 6.9 per 100,000
  • Young adults ages 20 to 24 — 12.7 per 100,000

As in the general population, young people were much more likely to use firearms, suffocation, and poisoning than other methods of suicide, overall. However, while adolescents and young adults were more likely to use firearms than suffocation, children were dramatically more likely to use suffocation.1

There were also gender differences in suicide among young people, as follows:

  • Nearly five times as many males as females ages 15 to 19 died by suicide.1
  • Just under six times as many males as females ages 20 to 24 died by suicide.1

    Are older adults at risk?

    Older Americans are disproportionately likely to die by suicide.

    • Of every 100,000 people ages 65 and older, 14.3 died by suicide in 2007. This figure is higher than the national average of 11.3 suicides per 100,000 people in the general population. 1
    • Non-Hispanic white men age 85 or older had an even higher rate, with 47 suicide deaths per 100,000.1

    Are Some Ethnic Groups or Races at Higher Risk?

    Of every 100,000 people in each of the following ethnic/racial groups below, the following number died by suicide in 2007.1

    • Highest rates:
      • American Indian and Alaska Natives — 14.3 per 100,000
      • Non-Hispanic Whites — 13.5 per 100,000
    • Lowest rates:
      • Hispanics — 6.0 per 100,000
      • Non-Hispanic Blacks — 5.1 per 100,000
      • Asian and Pacific Islanders — 6.2 per 100,000


A lot of these statistics are for 2007.   Given today’s economical problems and health care cuts, bullying and life in general, I am sure the numbers are higher now.

This is a subject we don’t want to talk about or see signs of in others, but we can’t turn away from the facts.  Suicide can be prevented.  Be a life line.  Watch those you know and love if their behavior changes.  Behavior change does not always indicate suicide or mental illness, but being aware can help save a life.

Visit the link for more information.

pb aka peanut butter

Bipolar disorder in children and adolescents cont’d

What are the signs and symptoms of bipolar disorder in children and adolescents?

Youth with bipolar disorder experience unusually intense emotional states that occur in distinct periods called “mood episodes.” The extreme highs and lows of mood are accompanied by extreme changes in energy, activity, sleep, and behaviorEach mood episode represents a drastic change from a person’s usual mood and behavior.

An overly joyful or overexcited state is called a manic episode. An extremely sad or hopeless state is called a depressive episode. Sometimes, a mood episode includes symptoms of both mania and depression. This is called a mixed state. People with bipolar disorder also may be explosive and irritable during a mood episode.

Symptoms of bipolar disorder are described below.

Symptoms of mania include: Symptoms of depression include:
Mood Changes

  • Being in an overly silly or joyful mood that is unusual for your child. It is different from times when he or she is just being silly and having fun.
  • Having an extremely short temper and unusual irritability.

Behavioral Changes

  • Sleeping little but not feeling tired
  • Talking a lot and having racing thoughts
  • Having trouble concentrating or paying attention, jumping from one thing to the next in an unusual way
  • Talking and thinking about sex more often than usual
  • Behaving in risky ways more often, seeking pleasure a lot, and doing more activities than usual.
Mood Changes

  • Being in a sad mood that lasts a long time
  • Losing interest in activities once enjoyed
  • Feeling worthless or guilty.

Behavioral Changes

  • Complaining about pain more often, such as headaches, stomach aches, and muscle pains
  • Eating a lot more or less than usual and gaining or losing a lot of weight
  • Sleeping or oversleeping when these were not problems before
  • Losing energy
  • Recurring thoughts of death or suicide.

It’s normal for almost every child or teen to show some of these behaviors sometimes. These passing changes should not be confused with bipolar disorder.

Symptoms of bipolar disorder are not like the normal changes in mood and energy that everyone has. Bipolar symptoms are more extreme and tend to last for most of the day, nearly every day, for at least 1 week. Also, depressive or manic episodes include moods very different from a child’s normal mood, and the behaviors described in the chart generally all come on at the same time. Sometimes the symptoms of bipolar disorder are so severe that the child needs to be treated in a hospital.

Bipolar disorder can be present even when mood swings are less extreme. For example, sometimes a child may have more energy and be more active than normal, but not show the severe signs of a full-blown manic episode. This is called hypomania. It generally lasts for at least 4 days in a row. Hypomania causes noticeable changes in behavior, but does not harm a child’s ability to function in the same way that mania does.

Note on Misdiagnosis: Rapidly Shifting Moods and High Energy

Findings from the NIMH-funded Longitudinal Assessment of Manic Symptoms (LAMS) study suggest that most young children with rapid mood swings and extremely high energy levels do not actually have bipolar disorder. However, these symptoms do cause significant problems at home, school, or with peers. The LAMS researchers re-assessed the children periodically to determine which children with rapid mood swings and high energy develop bipolar disorder later in life.4

Rapid mood changes and high energy are common among youth, but some researchers suggest these symptoms are hallmarks of mania in children. Other experts believe that over-diagnosis and misdiagnosis may play a role in the sharply rising numbers of children being diagnosed with and treated for this disorder.5           http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/bipolar-disorder-in-children-and-adolescents/index.shtml

None of us want to believe that our child may have a mental illness, but ignoring the signs will not make it go away.  If we have been diagnosed with a mental illness, there is a likelihood that one of our children will also have it, especially if someone else in the family has one.  

Don’t ignore the warning signs.  Have your child assessed to rule out mental illness or to confirm the diagnosis so he/she can get the help they need.  Ignoring it only makes it worse for everyone, especially the child.

be good to you and to your child and purpose to have an awesome day.

pb aka peanut butter